Title - All I Want
Chapters - (2/?)
Genre - Romance
Warning - MxM relationships
Rating - PG-13 for now
Characters- Manabu, Rui (ScReW) Uruha, Aoi (The GazettE) Tora (Alice Nine.)
Pairings- ex Manabu x Rui, ex Aoi x Uruha, Ruki x Uruha (mentioned, one-sided; later) Manabu x Uruha
Synopsis- Two different people in similar relationships with different issues befriend each
other, only to cause more confusion and complications.**Disclaimer: only the story and imagination are mine.
Why can't I get that Manabu guy out of my head? I've known him for all of an hour and yet his face just wont get out of my mind. And what about Yuu? What will he think or say? Well, what he doesn't know can't hurt him, right? He never has to know. I mean, Manabu is just a guy I had coffee with. We aren't even officially friends.
I wouldn't mind getting to to know him. He listens to me, smiles with with, laughs with me. He's the way I want my Yuu to be. It's all sexy with empty promises from Yuu. And with Manabu, I feel a genuine connection. Is it odd that I have more chemistry with a man I've known for only an hour than a man I've been involved with for months?
Maybe, Maybe I'm just going insane. Maybe my emotions are just out of whack because I haven't talked to Yuu sama in s long. That's got to be it. My body and mind aren't used to this lack of sex. Definitely not used to being so open and friendly with anyone. I can't even talk to Yuu about anything. Well, we can talk about him and sex, but I guess that's not very much considering Yuu hasn't changed and neither has the sex -which is always mind blowing.
For the past few hours all I have been doing is walking around my house debating with myself. Should I call Manabu or not? Why should I even trust him? It's not like he isn't expecting something in return for his kindness. But...what if he isn't? See, this is why I have no friends. Never have and at this rate, I never will. He probably isn't expecting me to call.
I do want to. feel bad for rushing off like that and lying to him. He was so a friendly guy, very nice. So the real question is do I give him a chance? Okay, let's think of it this way; I liked talking to him. I actually wouldn't mind seeing him again. He was very attractive, it seems I only attract dark haired males these days. His voice made my heart flutter a bit.
It's kind of like meeting Yuu all over again. I hope things don't turn out the same way they did with Yuu. I realize me and my master don't have a real relationship. It's only for sexual pleasure. Even if I am kind of sort of in love with him. Is it love? I'm not sure anymore. But I know I have some strong feelings for him. He rejected me obviously, I'm not sure if he's ever coming back. He just left without so much as I goodbye.
Maybe that was it. Maybe that was his way of ending it? Only time will tell I suppose. I tried to call him, he got his phone cut off. Probably changed his number. I miss him. But this means I can get to know Manabu. Hopefully he isn't like Yuu. I pray to God he's nothing like Yuu...I would be very disappointed if he were.
Hmm...I think I'll call him up now.
Uruha. A lovely name. Even for a man. It suits him, he's probably the only person I've met that's close to being perfect. I used to think Rui sama was like that. But now...what is he to me even? He doesn't want anything to do with the likes of me anymore. I think that's why I was so open to Uruha. That's what I needed; someone to talk to.
And I talked to him more than I talked to Rui in weeks. He didn't leave, even when I couldn't keep the conversation going. He laughed at my jokes and smiled the whole time. Uruha seemed to enjoy my company as opposed to thinking I'm some creepy stalker guy following people at the park. It was nice knowing that he listened to me.
I'm looking forward to talking to him again. He probably doesn't want to see my face anytime soon, so I'll wait to call him if he doesn't call me. Sometimes I can't help but be impatient. Just hearing his voice was enough for me to relax around him. His smile was so brilliant. But something about him was a little...I don't know...odd?
I feel like he was hiding something. In his eyes, I was something. It was familiar, too familiar. Like pain, hurt, loneliness. His eyes were like mine when Rui began to change his attitude towards me. I know it's none of my business, but I can't help but feel concerned. Or maybe I'm just imagining that.What I should concern myself with is my current situation with Rui and if Uruha will ever call me or not.
Taking a nap sounds really good right now. But at the same time that's foolish, considering I'm still driving around, looking for something to do. Now I'm getting hungry, it seems like I have enough money for something cheap. I should probably save it though.
I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. Without hesitation, I picked it up, knowing it was Uruha. "Manabu, I'm at the park. Meet me there, alright?" Before I could respond, he hung up. I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face. He really wants to see me...I can't explain how I feel about this. Manily because I'm unsure about how I feel.
One one hand, I'm excited. But on the other, I'm nervous. Will I screw up? AM I going to embarrass myself? And what would Rui think if I suddenly started making guy friends? He'd probably think I was sleeping around and be angry. Hmm...I guess he doesn't really have a right to tell me who I can hang out with.
To the park I go. And I'll hopefully get him to talk a bit more.
It warmed up a bit. It's only three o'clock and the sun no longer shines down on me. I see the same things as earlier, just different faces. And once again, I feel kind of happy, peaceful even. As I sit on this bench, waiting for Manabu, I notice it's a lot quieter than it was earlier. Children and parents are leaving the playground. A few high school students are walking in a group, and one of the girl's looks cold. Yet none of her friends offer her their jacket.
She looks a little upset by this. Even in the group, she's alone. I can relate to her. When I was that young, I was a lot like that; just a third wheel. Unnoticed. Ignored. Lonely. I watched her as she tried to pretend she was fine. I could she her shivering slightly. She looked at her friends who were laughing and laughed along as if she was included in the conversation.
She excused herself, which went completely unnoticed. I watched her walk over to the playground and sit on a swing. A breeze blew, it sent me chills and I was wearing a coat so I knew she had to be freezing in the thin uniform shirt and short skirt. I got up and walked over to her.
"Excuse me miss, but you look cold. I was wondering if you'd like my coat?" I offered. She looked up at me, expressionless. "It's pretty cold out and I couldn't let you freeze out here. Besides, your friends over there don't seem too concerned."
"They aren't my friends anymore...and thank you for your offer, but I shouldn't talk to random grown men offering me things. It's a little strange, wouldn't you agree?"
"Yes, it is. But I'm giving it to you anyway." I took off my coat and put if around the girl. "You can keep it, I have a few others at home." I said. I began to walk away when she spoke up.
"My name is Haley. I'll be here tomorrow...I'll give you your coat back sir. All you have to do is be back here tomorrow around this time, I'll make sure you get it back exactly like you gave it to me."
I smiled and replied, "I'll be here, Haley." I saw the girl smile a bit. She thanked me again and watched me walk away. I sat back on the bench, and waited for Manabu. Haley put on the coat, buttoning it up. It was kind of big on her, but not by much. She got off the swing and walked until I couldn't see her anymore.
Even though I only had on a purple sweater, I wasn't so cold. And it felt good to do something for someone else. I heard someone call my name. I turned and it was Manabu, running up to me with a smile plastered across his face. I waved to him, smiling back. I stood up when he reached the bench.
"Hi," he said, breathing heavily. "You look nice!" Was he ever not so sweet? I thanked him, feeling myself blush I looked down. He grabbed my hand and frowned. "It's too cold to be out here without a jacket Uruha."
"No, I'm fine." I replied. "Let's go get something to eat, I'm starving." We began to walk through the park, I led the way. I was looking for the ramen vender who used to give me free meals before Yuu started giving me money. He's a kind old man. I can see Manabu growing old and being like him. I don't think Manabu noticed we were still holding hands. I was glad he didn't; it feels nice to hold hands with someone.
Uruha pulled me through the park. I hoped he didn't notice me blushing. His hand felt so warm in mine, I really didn't want to let go. It was rare for me to hold hands with Rui. In fact, I can't remember the last time I did. I liked the way his fingers fit with mine so perfectly. He started to run, dragging me behind him. I thought it was rather funny, I struggled to keep up.
I'm guessing he noticed my struggle and stopped. "Sorry," he apologized, "I just got so excited. I can smell the ramen! It's been so long since I had any. Amano san makes the best ramen, you're going to love it!"
We walked up to the ramen vender, Uruha was beaming. There was a small line. We stood behind three people; a young couple, and an elderly woman. We got to the front of the line and Uruha looked confused and disappointed. Now I was confused.
"Excuse me, but where is the old man who runs this, Amano-san?" Uruha asked, looking around as if the old man would walk up at any moment. The man looked at Uruha as if he just realized something. He had sleek black hair, some of it pulled back into a pony tail and a lip piercing. He was taller than me and Uruha, with light brown- almost hazel- eyes, and a sharp angular nose that fit his face well. He was very handsome, but in a different way than Uruha.
"You must mean my grandfather...well, he retired and handed the business down to me and my younger brother. My name is Shinji, but you can call me Tora. And you must have been one of his regular customers he talks so much about." he explain, smiling a bit.
"H-hai, I knew your grandfather very well. My name is Uruha, I spent a lot of time in the park talking with him. He would always treat me to a bento or ramen when I was low on money. How is he doing?" Uruha engaged in a conversation while I stood there kind of lost.
"Ah, Uruha-san. Well, he's doing okay. I stop by to check on him often, my brother takes care of him pretty well though. He talks about you and tells me to make sure to have a meal ready for you whenever you drop by. So I guess I have something for you and your friend there." he said.
He handed Uruha a hot bowel of ramen and I watched as he prepared me a bowl of yakisoba. We both thanked him and I began to pay him, but he refused and said it's always free of charge of us. Uruha wanted to stay and talked to Tora, I couldn't deny him that. He seemed too happy to meet him. We all talked a bit more, discussing thing in our personal life.
"We can't exactly say we don't have friends now," I said, "I mean, aren't the three of us friends now?" They both smiled and nodded. Even though before today we were lonely, sad, getting out of bad relationships, we all made friends with each other. Time was flying, before I knew it, it was dark. The sun had set and it was dark, you could see some thin clouds and a few dim stars.
"It's getting late. I should get home and get some sleep before. I'll see you guys again right?" Tora asked. Uruha and I smiled and nodded. We exchnged numbers and went off into separate directions.Uruha grabbed my hand again, tighter than before.
"It's getting cold, I should get going too..." he said. I felt my heart sink, I didn't want him to leave so soon. "Would you like to come over? It's not far from here and you look like you could use some warming up." Did he really just invite me over to his place? Or was I just dreaming, passed out in my car?
"I would love to! I don't have any others plans or anywhere else to go. We can take my car, but you'll have to excuse the mess." I walked him to my car. We sat in comfortable silence as the car warmed up. He gave me clear directions to his house, it was only a few blocks away from the park. It was a small white two-story house with a narrow driveway and a one-car garage.
There was a purple Chevy parked in the driveway. He opened the gate and led me up to the door. He opened it, allowing me to enter first. He stepped in after me and flipped on the lights. We toed off our shoes and placed them on a mat beside the door. The living room was pretty small and simple. There was a small black sofa, a black recliner, a wooden coffee table in the center with a few black coasters and a large flat screen tv.
The kitchen was right next to the living room and there was a dark hall leading to somewhere else in the house. There was a carpeted staircase near the kitchen entrance. "I'm kind of sore. I could go for a nice, long soak in the bath. Would you like to take a bath? You look tired and a bit stressed." he offered.
"That sounds heavenly actually bu-" before I could refuse, he dragged me across the room and to staircase and pulled me upstairs. I'm not sure what's going to happen next, but I highly doubt I wont love it.
comment: woo, finally got this chapter up! thoughts, opinions, etc? was it bad? did you like it? improvements? anyway, i hope you liked it. I'm gonna be working on it for a while.
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